My heart is shrinking, sinking, disappearing. The one you love; It’s never enough. Slowly becoming numb, And this is where it’s coming from. My heart is dropping, flopping, It seems to be stuck. “You’ll never be gold in a mine”, Just the dust in the wind, Not my luck.

That is the mystery of it all, Still not understanding why I feel the way I do. Trying to put it all together in my head, Ending up in a spiral of deep introspection. From one thing to the next, I can’t seem to ever make it stop. I think so much, I suffocate. Going through all the things that have happened. Too much weight. I feel all this anxiety, It just won’t let me go. Sometimes I just want to disappear,

x3 I’ll never forget that pain. How it felt. The throbbing in my heart That told me to let go. Like a blade piercing through my skin, Going through my veins, Seeping through my flesh. I won’t forget. How I felt. Wishing I could go back and change things. Make myself feel less, I didn’t need more stress. I’ll never forget. What it took from me, How I felt more alone than ever. You never forget that kind of pain. But with you, It felt different. Kept me from going insane. What went through my head, I can never unsee. What I felt in my heart, I felt times three.

Solace I find solace in trees. Just being surrounded in the woods, Brings happiness. Feels good. Laying down in the grass, Brings a clear mind. I feel I am trapped in my head too much, That I lose track of time. Time. Well spent being surrounded by nature. My mind is clouded. Old pains try to seep through. "At least I feel at ease, Being around you". My thoughts jumble, I start to freeze up, I want out of this bubble.

The Feeling The feeling glides down her face Touches her chest Holds onto her heart. A gentle touch. A light touch. Gives her goosebumps, A shiver of euphoria. As though she is being kissed on the forehead; She gets butterflies. Her stomach goes wild. She enjoys this feeling, Yet, frantic. Unsure of what to think. "Is this real?" She asks herself. She's told herself from young. "Love is not real" These words repeated in her mind.

My Heart My heart has many battle wounds and I seem to have forgotten the band-aid. These thoughts linger through my mind, Can’t get them out of my head. Every day it’s on repeat. Like something I’ve already read. “Why do I keep messing up?” I ask myself. The answer won’t come easy. The words jumble in my brain, I can’t feel anything. Nothing but pain. I continue to be silent, My body goes blank. I try to let the words come out on paper,

R for Retrospective. Thats what I've been doing. Looking back on the day I first met you. The perfect smile, The laid back glossy hair, You just had that look. I don't resent meeting you, But we would've never made it. I could've been that woman for you, But you wouldn't let…

I still think about those times. Here and there, They run through my mind. I think about how different it was, How different I was. My mind becomes clear. I’ll never forget. All the fun, All the drinks, All the laughs. But it only went so far. I guess you never knew me. I guess you never will. I remember how hard it was to actually let go, The months it took from me. The tears I had shed. Like you took part of me with you.

Anxiety struck me like lightning. No idea where to go, no idea where to turn. Running back and forth, Feeling as though I’m in a maze. Heart palpitations up the roof. Thats where I met you. Looked at me with your glistening eyes, Took my hand and guided me towards the exit. Love. Is that how it happens? The word isn’t easy to say, But being around you, makes it worth it. Out of the station I went,